The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
