whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
