If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
