if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize