the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
false alarm, still single
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
