pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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