you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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