just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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