I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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