Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
