i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
