I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I could fuck to npr.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
