im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you still have your period?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
