why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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