That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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