haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i don't like sucking hair
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
