he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
