Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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