I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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