my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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