once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
