Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
