When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
smell my finger.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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