I love black thongs
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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