At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
