90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
