Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So vagazzling was a success
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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