I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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