did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think my fart just growled at me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
