They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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