Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
