my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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