I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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