Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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