It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
