i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
