yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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