I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
