Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
