You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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