Screwed.edu
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
