Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
