Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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