HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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