two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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