some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
