apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
this is an emotional support booty call
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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