It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
