he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
