My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
