Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Less talking, more tequila
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
