Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize