dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
