Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My penis needs a shock collar
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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