You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
