I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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